Elijah Anderson
Code of the Street
Decency, Violence, and the Moral Life of the Inner City
Table of Contents and Excerpt
Table of Contents
Preface
IntroductionDown Germantown Avenue
1. Decent and Street Families
2. Campaigning for Respect
3. Drugs, Violence, and Street Crime
4. The Mating Game
5. The Decent Daddy
6. The Black Inner-City Grandmother in Transition
7. John Turner's Story
Conclusion. The Conversion of a Role Model: Looking for Mr. Johnson
Notes
Bibliography
Index
Excerpt
Chapter One
Decent and Street Families
Almost everyone residing in poor inner-city neighborhoods
is struggling financially and therefore feels a certain
distance from the rest of America, but there are
degrees of alienation, captured by the terms "decent"
and "street" or "ghetto," suggesting social types. The decent family
and the street family in a real sense represent two poles of value
orientation, two contrasting conceptual categories. The labels
"decent" and "street," which the residents themselves use, amount
to evaluative judgments that confer status on local residents. The
labeling is often the result of a social contest among individuals and
families of the neighborhood. Individuals of either orientation may
coexist in the same extended family. Moreover, decent residents may
judge themselves to be so while judging others to be of the street,
and street individuals often present themselves as decent, while
drawing distinctions between themselves and still other people.
There is also quite a bit of circumstantial behaviorthat is, one
person may at different times exhibit both decent and street orientations,
depending on the circumstances. Although these designations
result from much social jockeying, there do exist concrete
features that define each conceptual category, forming a social typology.
The resulting labels are used by residents of inner-city communities
to characterize themselves and one another, and understanding
them is part of understanding life in the inner-city
neighborhood. Most residents are decent or are trying to be. The
same family is likely to have members who are strongly oriented
toward decency and civility, whereas other members are oriented
toward the streetand to all that it implies. There is also a great
deal of "code-switching": a person may behave according to either
set of rules, depending on the situation. Decent people, especially
young people, often put a premium on the ability to code-switch.
They share many of the middle-class values of the wider white society
but know that the open display of such values carries little weight
on the street: it doesn't provide the emblems that say, "I can take
care of myself." Hence such people develop a repertoire of behaviors
that do provide that security. Those strongly associated with the
street, who have less exposure to the wider society, may have difficulty
code-switching; imbued with the code of the street, they either
don't know the rules for decent behavior or may see little value in
displaying such knowledge.
At the extreme of the street-oriented group are those who make
up the criminal element. People in this class are profound casualties
of the social and economic system, and they tend to embrace the
street code wholeheartedly. They tend to lack not only a decent
educationthough some are highly intelligentbut also an outlook
that would allow them to see far beyond their immediate circumstances.
Rather, many pride themselves on living the "thug life,"
actively defying not simply the wider social conventions but the law
itself. They sometimes model themselves after successful local drug
dealers and rap artists like Tupac Shakur and Snoop Doggy Dogg,
and they take heart from professional athletes who confront the
system and stand up for themselves. In their view, policemen, public
officials, and corporate heads are unworthy of respect and hold little
moral authority. Highly alienated and embittered, they exude generalized
contempt for the wider scheme of things and for a system
they are sure has nothing but contempt for them.
Members of this group are among the most desperate and most
alienated people of the inner city. For them, people and situations
are best approached both as objects of exploitation and as challenges
possibly "having a trick to them," and in most situations their goal
is to avoid being "caught up in the trick bag." Theirs is a cynical
outlook, and trust of others is severely lacking, even trust of those
they are close to. Consistently, they tend to approach all persons
and situations as part of life's obstacles, as things to subdue or to
"get over." To get over, individuals develop an effective "hustle" or
"game plan," setting themselves up in a position to prevail by being
"slick" and outsmarting others. In line with this, one must always
be wary of one's counterparts, to assume that they are involved with
you only for what they can get out of the situation.
Correspondingly, life in public often features an intense competition
for scarce social goods in which "winners" totally dominate
"losers" and in which losing can be a fate worse than death. So one
must be on one's guard constantly. One is not always able to trust
others fully, in part because so much is at stake socially, but also
because everyone else is understood to be so deprived. In these circumstances,
violence is quite prevalentin families, in schools, and
in the streetsbecoming a way of public life that is effectively governed
by the code of the street.
Decent and street families deal with the code of the street in
various ways. An understanding of the dynamics of these families
is thus critical to an understanding of the dynamics of the code. It
is important to understand here that the family one emerges from
is distinct from the "family" one finds in the streets. For street-oriented
people especially, the family outside competes with blood
relatives for an individual's loyalties and commitments. Nevertheless,
blood relatives always come first. The folklore of the street
says, in effect, that if I will fight and "take up for" my friend, then
you know what I will do for my own brother, cousin, nephew,
aunt, sister, or motherand vice versa. Blood is thicker than
mud.
DECENT FAMILIES
In decent families there is almost always a real concern with and a
certain amount of hope for the future. Such attitudes are often
expressed in a drive to work "to have something" or "to build a good
life," while at the same time trying to "make do with what you have."
This means working hard, saving money for material things, and
raising childrenany "child you touch"to try to make something
out of themselves. Decent families tend to accept mainstream values
more fully than street families, and they attempt to instill them in
their children. Probably the most meaningful description of the mission
of the decent family, as seen by members and outsiders alike, is
to instill "backbone" and a sense of responsibility in its younger members.
In their efforts toward this goal, decent parents are much more
able and willing than street-oriented ones to ally themselves with
outside institutions such as schools and churches. They value hard
work and self-reliance and are willing to sacrifice for their children:
they harbor hopes for a better future for their children, if not for
themselves. Rather than dwelling on the hardships and inequities
facing them, many such decent people, particularly the increasing
number of grandmothers raising grandchildren (see Chapter 6), often
see their difficult situation as a test from God and derive great support
from their faith and church community.
The role of the "man of the house" is significant. Working-class
black families have traditionally placed a high value on male authority.
Generally, the man is seen as the "head of household," with the
woman as his partner and the children as their subjects. His role
includes protecting the family from threats, at times literally putting
his body in the line of fire on the street. In return he expects to rule
his household and to get respect from the other members, and he
encourages his sons to grow up with the same expectations. Being a
breadwinner or good provider is often a moral issue, and a man unable
to provide for a family invites disrespect from his partner. Many
young men who lack the resources to do so often say, "I can't play
house," and opt out of forming a family, perhaps leaving the woman
and any children to fend for themselves.
Intact nuclear families, although in the minority in the impoverished
inner city, provide powerful role models. Typically, husband
and wife work at low-paying jobs, sometimes juggling more than one
such job each. They may be aided financially by the contributions of
a teenage child who works part-time. Such families, along with other
such local families, are often vigilant in their desire to keep the children
away from the streets.
In public such an intact family makes a striking picture as the man
may take pains to show he is in complete controlwith the woman
and the children following his lead. On the inner-city streets this
appearance helps him play his role as protector, and he may exhibit
exaggerated concern for his family, particularly when other males are
near. His actions and words, including loud and deep-voiced assertions
to get his small children in line, let strangers know: "This is my
family, and I am in charge." He signals that he is capable of protecting
them and that his family is not to be messed with.
I witnessed such a display one Saturday afternoon at the Gallery,
an indoor shopping mall with a primarily black, Hispanic, and working- to
middle-class white clientele. Rasheed Taylor, his wife, Iisha,
and their children, Rhonda, Jimmy, and Malika, wandered about the
crowded food court looking for a place to sit down to eat. They finally
found a table next to mine. Before sitting down, Mr. Taylor asked
me if the seats were available, to which I replied they were. He then
summoned his family, and they walked forward promptly and in an
orderly way to take the seats. The three children sat on one side and
the parents on the other. Mr. Taylor took food requests and with a
stern look in his eye told the children to stay seated until he and his
wife returned with the food. The children nodded attentively. After
the adults left, the children seemed to relax, talking more freely and
playing with one another. When the parents returned, the kids
straightened up again, received their food, and began to eat, displaying
quiet and gracious manners all the while. It was very clear to
everybody looking on that Mr. Taylor was in charge of this family,
with everyone showing him utter deference and respect.
Extremely aware of the problematic and often dangerous environment
in which they reside, decent parents tend to be strict in
their child-rearing practices, encouraging children to respect
authority and walk a straight moral line. They sometimes display
an almost obsessive concern about trouble of any kind and encourage
their children to avoid people and situations that might lead to
it. But this is very difficult, since the decent and the street families
live in such close proximity. Marge, a slight, forty-three-year-old,
married, decent parent of five who resides in such a neighborhood,
relates her experience:
But you know what happens now? I have five children. Or I
had five childrenmy oldest son got killed in a car accident.
My children have always been different [decent]. And sometimes
we have to act that way [street] that other people act to show
them that you're not gonna be intimidated, that my child is
gonna go to the store, they're gonna come out here and play,
they're gonna go to school. You don't wanta do that, but you
can't go to them and talk. `Cause I've tried that. I've tried to go
to people and say, "Listen. These are children. Let's try to make
them get along." I remember years ago my sons had some expensive
baseball mitts and bats that was given to them. I didn't buy
them. They got them from Mr. Lee because he had the baseball
team. And so he gave my sons some baseball bats and gloves. At
that time the park at Twenty-seventh and Girard was Fred Jackson
Stadium; they call it Ruth Bloom now. My sons played baseball
there. So one little boy wanted to borrow some of the gloves
and the bat. I told my children, "Don't let him hold [use] the
gloves and the bat." But they let him hold them anyway. So he
told them that when he finished with them he would put them
on the porch. I told them they were never going to see them
again, and they were never put on the porch. So I went to his
mother, that was my neighbor, and I approached her very nicely
and I said, "Johnny didn't bring Terry and Curtis's gloves and
bat back." You know, she cursed me out! I was shocked. [She
said,] "He doesn't have to take a so-and-so bat and a ball." And
that woman really shocked me and hurt my feelings. I said, "Forget
it. Just forget it." She was really ignorant. But I had toeven
though I didn't get ignorant [get on her level] 'cause my
son was therebut I had to say some negative things to her to
let her know that I was just shocked. But I've been here [residing
in this neighborhood] twenty-two years, and in twenty-two years
I've had at least ten different, separate incidents that I had to go
out and talk to somebody, to the point that I told my children,
"No more." Somebody's gonna get hurt 'cause they don't know
when to stop.
OK, my daughter, Annette, she went to Germantown High.
So she was in about the ninth grade, had never had a fight in
her life. She came from the store one day, and she told me about
this girl that kept pickin' on her. She came up on the porch, and
she said, "Mommy, come to the door. I want to show you this
girl that keeps picking on me." Of course. Anybody that bothered
them, I always wanted to see who it was in case I had to go
see their parents or whatever. So I came and looked over the
railing on the porch, and me and my daughter were lookin' down
the street in that direction, not really at her [which could have
been taken as offensive]. The girl came up and said, "Who the
fuck are you lookin' at?" I said to my daughter, "Don't say anything."
So I said to the girl, "You better go home. You better
take your little butt home." OK. So she did go home. That
afternoon, my daughter was sitting on the steps of the porch and
reading a booknow this is a child who never had a fight, gets
good grades. I think I raised her extremely well. She's a biochemist
now. She's sitting on the step, reading her little book,
and the girl came up to her, said something to her. I wasn't even
out there, and so by the time my sons came to get me, my daughter
and her were fighting. That was the first fight that she ever
had in her life, and she was in the ninth grade. So I went out
there and separated them. The girl went around the corner.
When she came back, she had twenty different people with her.
But I knew what was gonna happen. Sothose same baseball
bats I told you aboutI told my son to get the baseball bats
from the hallway. I said, "We're not gonna get off the porch,
but if we have to, if they come up here, we're gonna have to do
something." So they came back, and I had to actually coax them
off like I was a little tough, like I'm not gonna take it. And I said
to my sons, "If they come up here, we're gonna pay they ass
back," and all that kind of stuff. And that's how I got them off
us. I mean, it was about twenty of them, friends, family, neighbors.
As I indicated above, people who define themselves as decent tend
themselves to be polite and considerate of others and teach their
children to be the same way. But this is sometimes difficult, mainly
because of the social environment in which they reside, and they
often perceive a need to "get ignorant"to act aggressively, even to
threaten violence. For whether a certain child gets picked on may
well depend not just on the reputation of the child but, equally important,
on how "bad" the child's family is known to be. How many
people the child can gather together for the purposes of defense or
revenge often emerges as a critical issue. Thus social relations can
become practical matters of personal defense. Violence can come at
any time, and many persons feel a great need to be ready to defend
themselves.
At home, at work, and in church, decent parents strive to maintain
a positive mental attitude and a spirit of cooperation. When disciplining
their children, they tend to use corporal punishment, but
unlike street parents, who can often be observed lashing out at their
children, they may explain the reason for the spanking. These parents
express their care and love for teenage children by guarding against
the appearance of any kind of "loose" behavior (violence, drug use,
staying out very late) that might be associated with the streets. In this
regard, they are vigilant, observing children's peers as well and sometimes
embarrassing their own children by voicing value judgments in
front of friends.
These same parents are aware, however, that the right material
things as well as a certain amount of cash are essential to young
people's survival on the street. So they may purchase expensive things
for their children, even when money is tight, in order that the children
will be less tempted to turn to the drug trade or other aspects
of the underground economy for money.
THE DECENT SINGLE MOTHER
A single mother with childrenthe majority of decent families in
the impoverished sections of the inner city are of this typemust
work even harder to neutralize the draw of the street, and she
does so mainly by being strict and by instilling decent values in
her children. She may live with her mother or other relatives and
friends, or she may simply receive help with child care from her
extended family. In raising her children, she often must press others
to defer to her authority; but without a strong man of the
house, a figure boys in particular are prepared to respect, she is at
some disadvantage with regard not only to her own sons and
daughters but also to the young men of the streets. These men
may test her ability to control her household by attempting to
date her daughters or to draw her sons into the streets. A mother
on her own often feels she must be constantly on guard and
exhibit a great deal of determination.
Diane, a single mother of four sons, three of whom are grown,
offers a case in point. Diane is forty-six years old, of average height,
heavyset, and light-complexioned. One of her sons is a night watchman
at the utility company, and another is a security guard at a downtown
store. Diane herself works as an aide in a day care center. In
describing her situation, she has this to say:
It really is pretty bad around here. There's quite a few grandmothers
taking care of kids. They mothers out here on crack.
There's quite a few of 'em. The drugs are terrible. Now, I got
a fifteen-year-old boy, and I do everything I can to keep him
straight. `Cause they [drug dealers and users] all on the corner.
You can't say you not in it, 'cause we in a bad area. They be all
on the corner. They be sittin' in front of apartments takin' the
crack. And constantly, every day, I have to stay on 'em and make
sure everything's OK. Which is real bad, I never seen it this bad.
And I been around here since '81, and I never seen it this bad.
At nights they be roamin' up and down the streets, and they be
droppin' the caps [used crack vials] all in front of your door. And
when the kids out there playin', you gotta like sweep 'em up. It's
harder for me now to try to keep my fifteen-year-old under
control. Right now, he likes to do auto mechanics, hook up
radios in people's cars, and long as I keep 'im interested in that,
I'm OK. But it's not a day that goes by that I'm not in fear.
'Cause right now he got friends that's sellin' it. They, you know,
got a whole lot of money and stuff. And I get him to come and
mop floors [she works part-time as a janitor], and I give him a
few dollars. I say, "As long as you got a roof over yo' head, son,
don't worry about nothin' else."
It's just a constant struggle tryin' to raise yo' kids in this time.
It's very hard. They [boys on the street] say to him, "Man, why
you got to go in the house?" And they keep sittin' right on my
stoop. If he go somewhere, I got to know where he's at and who
he's with. And they be tellin' him [come with us]. He say, "No,
man, I got to stay on these steps. I don't want no problem with
my mama!" Now, I been a single parent for fifteen years. So far,
I don't have any problems. I have four sons. I got just the one
that's not grown, the fifteen-year-old. Everyone else is grown.
My oldest is thirty-five. I'm tryin'. Not that easy. I got just one
more, now. Then I'll be all right. If I need help, the older ones'll
help me. Most of the time, I keep track myself. I told him I'll
kill him if I catch him out here sellin'. And I know most of the
drug dealers. He better not. I'm gon' hurt him. They better not
give him nothin'. He better not do nothin' for them. I tell him,
"I know some of your friends are dealers. [You can] speak to
'em, but don't let me catch you hangin' on the corner. I done
struggled too hard to try to take care of you. I'm not gon' let
you throw your life away."
When me and my husband separated in '79, I figured I had
to do it. He was out there drivin' trucks and never home. I
had to teach my kids how to play ball and this and that. I said,
"If I have to be a single parent, I'll do it." It used to be the
gangs, and you fought 'em, and it was over. But now if you
fight somebody, they may come back and kill you. It's a whole
lot different now. You got to be street-smart to get along. My
boy doesn't like to fight. I took him out of school, put him in
a home course. The staff does what it wants to. [They] just
work for a paycheck.
You tell the kid, now you can't pick their friends, so you do
what you can. I try to tell mine, "You gon' be out there with the
bad [street kids], you can't do what they do. You got to use your
own mind." Every day, if I don't get up and say a prayer, I can't
make it. I can't make it. I watch him closely. If he go somewhere,
I have to know where he at. And when I leave him, or if he go
to them girlfriends' houses, I tell the parents, "If you not responsible,
he can't stay." I'm not gon' have no teenager making no
baby.
These comments show how one decent inner-city parent makes
sense of the breakdown in civility, order, and morality she sees occurring
in her community and how she copes. When Diane was a child,
and even when her older sons were growing up, gang fights were
common, but they generally took the form of an air-clearing brawl.
Today many community residents feel that if you run afoul of a gang
or an individual, somebody may simply kill you. Note that the schools
are included among the institutions seen to have abdicated their
responsibilities, a widespread belief among many inner-city parents.
THE STREET FAMILY
So-called street parents, unlike decent ones, often show a lack of
consideration for other people and have a rather superficial sense of
family and community. They may love their children but frequently
find it difficult both to cope with the physical and emotional demands
of parenthood and to reconcile their needs with those of their children.
Members of these families, who are more fully invested in the
code of the street than the decent people are, may aggressively socialize
their children into it in a normative way. They more fully believe
in the code and judge themselves and others according to its values.
In fact, the overwhelming majority of families in the inner-city
community try to approximate the decent-family model, but many
others clearly represent the decent families' worst fears. Not only are
their financial resources extremely limited, but what little they have
may easily be misused. The lives of the street-oriented are often
marked by disorganization. In the most desperate circumstances,
people frequently have a limited understanding of priorities and consequences,
and so frustrations mount over bills, food, and, at times,
liquor, cigarettes, and drugs. Some people tend toward self-destructive
behavior; many street-oriented women are crack-addicted
("on the pipe"), alcoholic, or involved in complicated relationships
with men who abuse them.
In addition, the seeming intractability of their situation, caused in
large part by the lack of well-paying jobs and the persistence of racial
discrimination, has engendered deep-seated bitterness and anger in
many of the most desperate and poorest blacks, especially young people.
The need both to exercise a measure of control and to lash out
at somebody is often reflected in the adults' relations with their children.
At the very least, the frustrations associated with persistent poverty
shorten the fuse in such people, contributing to a lack of patience
with anyonechild or adultwho irritates them.
People who fit the conception of street are often considered to be
lowlife or "bad people," especially by the "decent people," and they
are generally seen as incapable of being anything but a bad influence
on the community and a bother to their neighbors. For example, on
a relatively quiet block in West Oak Lane, on the edge of a racially
integrated, predominantly middle-class neighborhood, there is a row
of houses inhabited by impoverished people. One of them is Joe
Dickens, a heavyset, thirty-two-year-old black man. Joe rents the
house he lives in, and he shares it with his three childrentwo
daughters (aged seven and five) and a three-year-old son. With
patches on the brickwork, an irregular pillar holding up the porch
roof, and an unpainted plywood front door, his house sticks out on
the block. The front windows have bars; the small front yard is filled
with trash and weeds; the garbage cans at the side of the house are
continually overflowing.
Even more obtrusive is the lifestyle of the household. Dickens's
wife has disappeared from the scene. It is rumored that her crack
habit got completely out of control, and she gravitated to the streets
and became a prostitute to support her habit. Dickens could not
accept this behavior and let her go; he took over running the house
and caring for the children as best he could. And to the extent that
the children are fed, clothed, and housed under his roof, he might
be considered a responsible parent.
But many of the neighbors do not view him as responsible. They
see him yelling and cursing at the kids when he pays attention to
them at all. Mostly, he allows them to "rip and run" unsupervised up
and down the street at all hours, riding their Big Wheels and making
a racket. They are joined by other neighborhood children playing on
the streets and sidewalks without adult supervision. Dickens himself
pays more attention to his buddies, who seem always to be hanging
out at the houseon the porch in warm weatherplaying loud rap
music, drinking beer, and playing cards.
Dickens generally begins his day at about 11 A.M., when he may
go out for cheesesteaks and videos for his visitors. In fact, one gets
the impression that the house is the scene of an ongoing party. The
noise constantly disturbs the neighbors, sometimes prompting them
to call the police. But the police rarely respond to the complaints,
leaving the neighbors frustrated and demoralized. Dickens seems
almost completely indifferent to his neighbors and inconsiderate of
their concerns, a defining trait of street-oriented people.
Dickens's decent neighbors are afraid to confront him because they
fear getting into trouble with him and his buddies. They are sure that
he believes in the principle that might makes right and that he is
likely to try to harm anyone who annoys him. Furthermore, they
suspect he is a crack dealer. The neighbors cannot confirm this, but
some are convinced anyway, and activities around his house support
this conclusion. People come and go at all hours of the day and night;
they often leave their car engines running, dash into the house, and
quickly emerge and drive off. Dickens's children, of course, see much
of this activity. At times the children are made to stand outside on
the porch while business is presumably being transacted inside. These
children are learning by example the values of toughness and self-absorption:
to be loud, boisterous, proudly crude, and uncouthin
short, street.
Maxine's family is another example. On a block that has managed
to retain a preponderance of decent households, one house had stood
vacant for some time. One day the absentee landlord showed up and
started making minor repairs, painting the porch railings, and carrying
out trash bags. Sometime later, Maxine, a large brown-skinned
woman, was spotted sweeping up in the backyard, helped out by a
heavyset middle-aged black man. The block's residents took note.
Had the home been sold? Had the landlord found new tenants? Who
were they? What were they like? Finally, move-in day arrived. Maxine
and her friend, along with her six children, appeared on the block
with an old blue pickup truck loaded down with old furniture, including
beds, tables, lamps, and black plastic bags full of stuff. Anxious
neighbors watched while they unloaded the truck and moved the
belongings into the house.
After they moved in, Maxine's children were the first to make their
presence felt on the block, spending a large part of the day playing
noisily without supervision outside. Soon, however, a larger problem
developed: a middle-aged male whose relationship to Maxine was
unclear appeared to move in. After he did so, people began to notice
a series of comings and goings at various times of the day and night.
There were also exchanges on the front porch, on the sidewalk, and
in the street. Though residents did not know the exact nature of these
transactions, her neighbors assumed that they involved drugs,
because everything else seemed to fit. In addition, at night those
residing closest to Maxine could hear the sounds of a great commotion
and the screams of her children. The block had become
decidedly less peacefuland dirtier. On trash-pickup day, Maxine's
trash would often not be stored properly, and some of it would fall
to the ground, where it would lie and fly around with the wind. She
and her children would sometimes contribute to the litter by tossing
empty bags and soda bottles from the porch as soon as they were
done with them. This behavior further upset the neighbors.
But most upsetting of all was the blatant drug dealing now going
on at Maxine's house. All of this came to a head one Saturday in May
at about 1 P.M. On this nice spring afternoon, the peace of the block
was disturbed by a young man who was wailing and banging on Maxine's
front door. A few residents were out and about doing chores,
and small children played and rode their tricycles and bikes up and
down the block. "Gimme my drugs, bitch! Where my drugs at?" the
young man cried as he banged on the door. The neighbors who were
out began to look at Maxine's house. After hearing this noise and
assessing the situation, one woman ran to collect her small daughter,
who was in front of the house on her tricycle. Suddenly, a beat-up
brown windowless van careened around the corner and came to a
screeching halt in front of Maxine's house. Out jumped two young
black men, who headed for Maxine's front door. Without knocking,
they entered, as though they had been summoned to deal with the
other young man. But no sooner had they entered than they emerged,
running out, ducking and hiding behind nearby trees and cars. It was
clear that they were afraid of being hit by some flying objector
possibly of being shot at. By now the commotion had brought
together a small crowd. And after a little while the police were summoned,
and they came. They parked their police van on the street
near the brown van and proceeded to the front door. They entered
and in a few minutes emerged with the first young man and placed
him in the van. At this point the man began to scream and yell at
Maxine. "I'll get you, bitch! You won't get away with this. I'll get
you," he cried. "As soon as I get out, I'll get you!" The police van
drove away, leaving the neighbors with their worst fears confirmed:
Maxine had established the street lifestyle on their previously quiet
block.
Street-oriented women tend to perform their motherly duties sporadically.
The most irresponsible women can be found at local bars
and crack houses, getting high and socializing with other adults.
Reports of crack addicts abandoning their children have become
common in drug-infested inner-city communities. Typically, neighbors
or relatives discover the abandoned children, often hungry and
distraught over the absence of their mother. After repeated absences
a friend or relative, particularly a grandmother, will often step in to
care for the children, sometimes petitioning the authorities to send
her, as guardian of the children, the mother's welfare check, if she
gets one. By this time, however, the children may well have learned
the first lesson of the streets: you cannot take survival itself, let alone
respect, for granted; you have to fight for your place in the world.
Some of the children learn to fend for themselves, foraging for food
and money any way they can. They are sometimes employed by drug
dealers or become addicted themselves (see Chapter 3).
These children of the street, growing up with little supervision,
are said to "come up hard." They often learn to fight at an early age,
using short-tempered adults around them as role models. The street-oriented
home may be fraught with anger, verbal disputes, physical
aggression, even mayhem. The children are victimized by these
goings-on and quickly learn to hit those who cross them.
The people who see themselves as decent refer to the general set
of cultural deficits exhibited by people like Maxine and Joe Dickensa
fundamental lack of social polish and commitment to norms
of civilityas "ignorance." In their view ignorance lies behind the
propensity to violence that makes relatively minor social transgressions
snowball into more serious disagreements, and they believe
that the street-oriented are quick to resort to violence in almost
any dispute.
The fact that the decent people, as a rule civilly disposed, socially
conscious, and self-reliant men and women, share the neighborhood
streets and other public places with those associated with the street,
the inconsiderate, the ignorant, and the desperate, places the "good"
people at special risk. In order to live and function in the community,
they must adapt to a street reality that is often dominated by people
who at best are suffering severely in some way and who are apt to
resort quickly to violence to settle disputes. This process of adapting
means learning and observing the code of the street. Decent people
may readily defer to people, especially strangers, who seem to be at
all street-oriented. When they encounter such people at theaters and
other public places talking loudly or making excessive noise, they are
reluctant to correct them for fear of verbal abuse that could lead to
violence. Similarly, they will often avoid confrontations over a parking
space or traffic error for fear of a verbal or physical altercation.
But under their breaths they may mutter "street niggers" to a black
companion, drawing a sharp cultural distinction between themselves
and such individuals.
There are also times when decent people try to approach the level
of the ignorant ones by "getting ignorant" themselves, as Diane's
story illustrates, making clear by their behavior that they too are
entitled to respect and are not to be messed with. In these circumstances,
they may appear more than ready to face down the ignorant
ones, indicating they have reached their limit or threshold for violent
confrontation. From such seemingly innocent encounters, actual
fights can and do erupt, but often there is an underlying issuetypically
involving money. Don Moses is a sixty-year-old gypsy taxi
driver who has lived in various local black communities his entire life.
Don has the reputation of being a decent man, attending church
when he can and trying to treat everyone with respect. He knows the
city "like the back of my hand." He related to me the following story
of the levels of violence in his neighborhood:
Somebody's mother, daughter, father, child got shot. I hear
it all the time. Hardly a night goes by that I don't hear gunshots.
Sometimes you hear live voices and gunshots. You get the paper
the next dayI remember the other night I was in the bathroom,
and somebody shotboom!between our yards. The
next day, that shot I heard, it was somebody getting shot. He
went to the door, this guy did this guy wrong, kicked the door
open, bam!shot the guy. I just had a feelingsometimes you
hear a shot and you say, "I wonder who went down behind that."
Sure enough, somebody did go down. Could have been anything,
the littlest thing. Could be somebody left the trash can
with the lid off in front of his house. Anything.
A good example of that is a neighbor. I got alongand I've
always prided myself on being able to get along with everybody,
especially neighbors. I say you have to take care with your neighbors
and look out for them because who else is going to look
out for your property if you're not there or your children. My
neighbor and I, we got along very well. Last winter, my neighbor,
who was a woman, her mother started an argument. She
used to have this little bickering with me for no reason at all.
She'd say something to meI left the flashers on on my car
once: "Why don't you turn the flashers off? The first thing you
wanta do if your battery runs down is ask Johnnie"that's the
girl's name"to give you a jump: she can't be doing this." And
I would politely say, "Thank you for telling me. I'll try my best
to keep my thinking cap on."
It kept on until she finally found something to really jump on.
Her son borrowed some money from me, and he didn't pay it
back. Her daughter approached me and said, "Look, my brother
hasn't paid you back the money. I feel responsible for him, I was
there. I'm gonna give you the money." Now, if you tell me that,
I'm gonna be looking for you. So when I would see her, and I'd
see her a couple times, "I don't have it now." So one time I was
walkin' in the house, she told me, "Look, you're gonna have to
see my brother for that money." So, I said, "Sure, it's fine. I'll
see. We'll cross each other's paths sometime." So as fate would
have it, one day he shows up and he and I had a few words. And
he didn't have it on him. Three or four times he said he was
gonna have it, and he didn't have it. So then that led into the
time I was home and her and her mother blowed up. Her mother
lit into me: "I don't know why you keep harassin'"I really
hadn't said anything to her for about a month after she said her
brother would take care of it, I'd have to see himI'd say, "No
problem. It wasn't your debt. It was your brother's debt. You
just happened to be there. The transaction took place in your
place." Jesus, her mother lit into me. Now, I know that she
instigated that by tellin' her mother, "Every time I see Don, he's
askin' me for the money." I knew that's what happened. I didn't
wanta let her know that I knew. She knew it, and she was trying
to hush her mother up and pull me aside and talk to me. I started
to get real angry with her mother because her mother had
already prodded and tried to get something started with me, so
she finally succeeded. All I said to her was, "Look, it really wasn't
any of your business. I don't have anything to say to you about
this. I don't wanta hurt your feelings. I don't wanta be disrespectful
to you 'cause you're older than I. I don't want anything
negative to jump off, and I don't want any problems with your
daughter or your son." He was on the porch, and he gets the
attitude: "What are you doin' talkin to my mother?" I said, "I
didn't say anything. I didn't use no profanity. I didn't raise my
voice. I wasn't disrespectful to her. I think she was very disrespectful
to me." So he jumps up off the porch and goes into the
house. I walked back to say something to him. He jumps up and
goes into the house. Now, he pulled a gun on several people and
I was lookin' for him to come out with a gun, but he didn't. He
didn't come out of the house. So after thatthat's been a year
agothings kind of cooled off. We just started kind of talkin'
to each other again. You don't wanta fight with your neighbor.
As Don's account indicates, respect or props are very much an issue
in the community, and if a person determines that he or she is not
getting the proper deference, there can be trouble. In this case the
man Don had lent money to had not paid up, so his sister intervened,
perhaps very much aware that her brother could be viewed as disrespecting
Don by not paying off the debt. Then, on the porch, the
man "copped" an attitude with Don about the supposed way he was
treating his mother, but things cooled off and violence was averted.
Meanwhile, Don is still waiting for his money, but he is prepared to
wait for the man who owes him to pay up voluntarily, mainly because
the person is potentially violentand streetand Don does not want
to give him an excuse to feel he has been wronged enough to resort
to violence. For the time being, Don knows that the "price" of repaying
the debt owed to him may well be too high.
The inner-city community is actually quite diverse economically;
various people are doing fairly well, whereas others are very poor but
decent and still others are utterly and profoundly suffering, alienated,
and angry. Such is the social terrain the decent family must navigate
and negotiate in order to remain whole as well as secure. This situation
creates a major dilemma for decent families who are trying to
raise their children to remain decent even though they must negotiate
the streets. These parents want their children to value educations,
jobs, and a future, but they also want them to get their fair share of
respect and the props that go with itand not to be dissed or attacked
or shot.
YVETTE'S STORY
Yvette is a young woman who grew up in a decent family in a drug-infested
neighborhood. Her parents sheltered her from the public
environment to such an extent that she was forbidden to go onto the
street unless she had somewhere to go. Although they themselves
were members of the working poor, the extended family was very
poor and exhibited many of the characteristics decent people associate
with the street. Yvette's parents thus sought to protect her from
her own relatives. Their efforts, though extreme, seem to have paid
off: today Yvette is a successful college student with plans to become
a doctor. Her story brings into sharp focus many of the points discussed
above.
I'm twenty now, and I've lived in North Philly all my
lifeTwenty-fifth and Girard; it's a pretty rough neighborhood.
When I was growing up, the area wasn't as crime-ridden as it is
now. When I was smaller, it was more like a decent neighborhood.
I live on a block with a lot of older people, so I saw a lot
of people who had [decent] values around me because they
stayed in the house, they sat on the porch. But that's gone now.
I didn't have too many people to play with on the block, because
there weren't that many kids on the block. And my mother kind
of kept me in the house most of the time, because she didn't
want me getting mixed up with the wrong crowd or whatever.
I went to Valley Christian School, which is a private school.
And she struggled to put me in that school, but she wanted to
make it so that I wouldn't be in public schools, 'cause she
thought that in public schools there is just a bad crowd there,
and she didn't want me mixed up with that. So I went there, and
at that point my whole family started thinking, "OK, there's a
problem because Yvette is starting to think that she's better than
everyone else because she's going to a private school." Whereas
my cousins were going to public schools and getting in trouble,
getting suspended, whatever. And I wasn't doing that, because I
was in a private, Christian school. And I didn't even have to say
anything. Just me being in that private school convinced my
family, my aunts and uncles, that something was going on with
me. I didn't have too many friends in the community, because,
like I said, my mother kept me inside the house. I came home
from school and I studied. When the studying was over, I had
like ten minutes of phone time, watch a little TV, go to sleep.
That was my daily regimen. I didn't really go outside.
Most of my family's on welfarewelfare recipients. And the
people who do workmy uncle works for UPS, the delivery
company. And my other uncle, he worked in some factory of
some sort. And my family that are janitors, maintenance peoplebasically
everyone works in low-skill jobs. Education is not
stressed in my family at all. Most of the people haven't even
completed high school; my mother is one of the few. She's the
only one out of her people who graduated high school.
My mother's fifty-five, and now she owns her own home, but
even that was a struggle. In doing that, my family criticized her
as well. My family thinks my mother as well as me, we're both
sellouts. Because my mother has a white-collar job. She's just an
administrative assistant, it's not that prestigious, but compared
to what they do, they thinkthey think that because they're
blue-collar and she's white-collar, it's a different kind of work.
A different kind of respect goes with that white collar. And they
think that because she is white-collar, she kind of removes herself
from them. I don't know how to say it right. And then when
she went to buy a housenone of them own their own houses.
So, "OK, she thinks she's better than us again." Just because
she's making it, she's making something of her life, they think
there's something wrong with that.
One thing that really stands out in my mind, one of my aunts,
the least thing that I would do, she would try to blame me with
stuffthat any normal kid would do, but she'd blow it up to
make like it was bigger, and then her and my mom would get
into fights over nothing. Today they look back on the things
and think, "Why did we fight? What was the problem?" Smart
remarks. In church they talk about us. Just animosity comes out
in a lot of ways. This aunt was on welfare for about ten years.
Now she's a maintenance worker downtown. She has three kids
and she's married, but her husband died. She's kind of well-off
now because she had a couple of insurance policies on him, so
she has a lot of money. She still has the same values even though
she has a lot of money. She still has that same animosity towards
me and my mother. She has a sixth-grade education, and she
sees me going to college as something, "Why are you doing this?
You trying to be better than me?" And presently now she's trying
to use the fact that she has a job, a maintenance job, that
pays twelve dollars an hourthat's a very good joband that
she has this money from the insurance policy, she's trying to use
that to say, "OK, you might think that you're better than me in
regards that you're going to college, you're trying to get this
degree and want to be a doctor. But you're really not. You're
really not anything." This is the mentality that comes out on a
daily basis. I mean, we hear rumors of it. It's a lot of gossip.
This summer there was an incident. I was tutoring her two
children in math and science, just trying to help them out
because they're kind of failing. One's at Simon Gratz High and
one's at James Middle School. And I wanted to help them out.
And she caught me one day when my mother wasn't there. She's
like, "You know, Yvette, you make people hate you." And I'm
like, "What are you talking about? What is the problem?" She
was like, "You come around here. You think you're better than
everybody else. Da-da-da." It's just a whole spiel that she goes
on. But that just tells meI didn't do anything, I tried to help
her kids, and she saw me trying to help her kids as me thinking
I'm better than her. Which is twisted. That's just wrong. So I
don't really talk to this aunt anymore, because I've just had it,
basically. I try to reach back and help, but it seems like it's just
interpreted wrong.
My other aunts all feel the same way, but not as strongly as
her. My cousins, too. My cousins threatened to beat me up once
just because [they said] I thought I was better than them. They're
older than me, too. Right now one's twenty-six and one's
twenty-three, but when we were in schoolthey were in high
school, I was in middle schooland they dropped out, as usual,
since no one in my family stresses education, and I was still
going, and it was like, "We just wanta beat you up because you
are just a nerd." They would just tell me that. `Cause I'm a nerd.
'Cause I'm going to school. I'm trying to get good grades. I had
a baby-sitter till I was about fourteen. And my aunts were my
baby-sitters. So they'd see me come over there and study, and
that's when they'd say I was a nerd, they'd get mad at me for
studying. `Cause they dropped out, they're not doing anything
with their lives, and I'm sitting in their house and studying. They
see me as the enemy.
My mother kept me grounded, though. My religion keeps me
grounded. I have a goal in life. I'm trying not to let anybody get
in between that goal. So that's the only way I handle it. 'Cause
I have a goal in mind, and I'm going to do this. People are going
to try to get me down. I was told thatmy mother told me,
people will try to get in your way because they're going to think
this and that about you. But you have to go on. So that's the
only thing. That's all I have. My family is not a support for me
at all.
Another thing that distinguishes me is that it's just me. I don't
have any brothers and sisters. My cousins are one of whateverfive,
six. And it's just me. So I get all the attention. My biological
father wasI didn't know him. From what I hear, he wasn't all
that stable. I have brothers and sisters that I don't know about
by other women. But they got divorced when I was about two
or three months. And my mother didn't want me growing up
without a father figure, sothis is gonna sound kind of weirdone
of my uncles who's really a nice person, she kind of recruited
him in to be a father figure in my life. I never ever knew that he
was not my father until I was about thirteen or fourteen years
old. It was just kept a secret. They lived in the same housethey
weren't in the same bedroom or anything like that, but I
didn't make anything of that. As far as I knew, I just had a mom
and I had a dad and I had this nice little family. And I went to
private school. You know, a nice cute little family. I didn't know.
Until one of my nice cute little cousins wanted to spoil that, so
they were like, "Yvette, you know that's not your father. That's
your uncle. You don't have a father." And they did it in such a
nasty way that I was just really upset. My mom was upset. My
dad who was my uncle was extremely upset, and that caused a
lot of animosity in the family for about a year or so. Just fighting,
bickering. But I think I needed that foundation with both of
them there because by thirteen I had my goals in life. I wanted
to be a doctor. I was getting straight A's in school. I was set at
that point. I don't think I would have gotten to that point without
both of them there.
My father's also one of the people who helped me just to
realize, "Yvette, you've got to make something of yourself. You
see your cousins. They're not doing anything." He used them
as one of my motivating forces. I didn't stop thinking of him as
my father after I found out. It was really too late. He had done
so much and just been there. He was always Daddy. He did die
about four years ago, and even in his obituary I'm listed as his
daughter because that's just what I am. And all his friends recognize
me as his daughter. It's just that my nice little family,
with the animosity, faded. One of my aunts had three kidsthe
one who had the most animosityher husband was an alcoholic,
he wasn't really there. So these kids had a father, but he was
there in name only. Every time my aunt had a baby, he wanted
to say it wasn't his, even though it was his 'cause they all looked
like him. He was always drunk all the time. So he was just a
father in name onlyunlike my father, he just did not put in
the time, dedication, whatever. He was [just] a sperm donor to
me. That's how I think of him. That's how I think of my biological
father. That doesn't make a father to me. That seems to
bethe father image in my family isn't strong as well. The
responsibility just isn't there. They mostly put it on the women.
So I guess my cousins got jealous that there was someone in my
life who was actually paying my tuition to go to this school, who
was actually picking me up from school every day, helping me
do my homework. They didn't have it.
In my neighborhood a lot of the older people have the mother
and the father and the kids, but of the younger generation, no,
I see all of the weight shifted on the mother. And the mother
really has to be strong if she wants her kids to be something in
society. It really takes a lot to do it by yourself. All the people
on my block are [in their] sixties and seventies now. We have a
changing rotation, but generally there are no young people on
my block. From forties to seventies, that's it. We have a Section
8 [government subsidized] home across the street from me
where there are lower-class welfare-recipient families, and
there're just mothers and children. The mothers have no control
over their kids whatsoever. You see babies just walking back and
forth on the street. They're little, they're little kids. They need
attention. And their mothers are hanging in the house, on the
phone, whatever. We see a constant flow of cars go by. Guys
get out. They go in the house for a minute, throw some Pampers
in there, and leave. That's not productive for me. That's the
closest thing on my block or around Germantown Avenue that
I see to decentness: "OK, we'll give you some Pampers. Here
you go. Live on that." What about the kid? What about the kid
needing to see their father? What about the kid needing to see
their mother? Their mother isn't even paying any attention. It's
not fair, and it makes me mad.
My mother is strong. She has a sense of humor, but she's
serious about life. You have to have a goal in life, or else you're
not going to go anywhere. She also had a horrible history. Her
father was actually an alcoholic as well, and her mother had eight
kids and wound up raising all of them basically by herself because
my grandfather died and she was left with the kids. And when
he was alive, he was always drunk. And then, when my mother
was ten, her mother fell down the steps and died. So there was
eight kids. They were left alone. They were spread out, raised
by aunts, uncles, whatever. And she learned from her background;
she said, "OK, it's not gonna be like this for my daughter."
This is what she told me. So when she found that my
biological father was no good, she was like, "OK, we've got to
have some sort of stable environment for this girl because I don't
want her to have to go through the things I did." So she's always
instilled in me values first of all. And she's like, "You've got to
have a goal." And I had a goal, I had values, I had the stable
family, and that helped me to get where I'm at.
And now she's still working towards her goal. There's never
a point that she gets to that she's satisfied. She's in an all-white
department in her job now. And there's a lot of discrimination
going on in that department. And she's very strong because she
has to go to work and put up with this every single day. And it's
just a struggle for her because she comes home and she talks
about it constantly. What should she do? But she's persevering,
and I just have to give her much respect for that because it's
really hard to do that.
She's basicallyit's a combination from both sides. They're
basically cutting each other off. She's kind of isolated. She talks
to one of her sisters. Out of seven other siblings, she only talks
to one of her sisters because of the strong animosity in our family.
Whatever she hears about her other brothers and sisters, it's
through her aunt. We really don't get together that much
because of the situation. And she's just accepted it. She's not
gonna let them bring her down. So the best way to get away
from it is just to cut them off. So that's exactly what she did.
And I'm really kind of hurt because I want to have a family like
everyone else, an extended family. But I can't, because there's
just so much jealousy and animosity. We can't have a gathering
without someone saying something. We [she and her mom] support
each other. We have a strong relationship with God. God
is our support. I don't knowit comes from within. We don't
have too many supports. We just don't. They're not there.
My mother's on the younger side of the people on the block.
It ranges from forty to seventy, so she's fifty-five. We're trying
to fight against what's going on across the street, but that's really
not working too well. As far as the welfare mothersit's like
eight of them in one house with all their kidsI don't know
what kind of house it is. It's got about four bedrooms. It's a city
house, I'm sure of that at least. Because we have a politician that
lives on the street, and she knows exactly what type of house it
is and what they're doing. It's maybe homeless women with children.
They get their checks, and they can build up their money
and then go out and live in a house or something like that. But
they're all together, and there's a lot of them. And this certain
type of behavior that comes with them, that is just ridiculous.
As a block, we're concerned about the kids, basically. 'Cause the
kids are just not being paid any attention at all.
My neighborhood is definitely drug-ridden. Violence too. I
haven't exactly seen anyone get shot, but I always seem to get
there just after something's happened. Last summer we just had
three boys murdered on the corner of the block that I live on.
They were all drug dealers. There was just some sort of fight
over drug turf or whatever. Robberythe pipers stole the flowerpot
cemented onto our porch off the porch. I don't understand
it, but they did it. Any car that doesn't move, in two or three
days it's gone. We've had four cars stolen, and that's ridiculous.
And if they can't steal the car, they'll lift the hood up and take
the battery. Something. They steal everything. Mugging. Not
too many fights break out. It's either you get shot or something
gets stolen. That's basically it.
My mother has fortified herself into our house. She's got iron
doors in the front and the back. Steel windows. Bars on the
windows. Our house looks like a little prison. But she calls this
her security. She doesn't want to get up and move. Even though
she can, she doesn't want to do it. She wants to stay in her
community. She wants to try to fight back, just like all the rest
of the neighbors. They want to fight back. They want to protect
what's theirs. I mean, it's going to be a tough fight. It doesn't
look like they're winning at this point, but they don't want to
get up and leave what's theirs.
It used to be more peaceful. The situation with the welfare
house [Section 8] started about three years ago. And every year
we have a different selection of women. They only stay there
for a year, and then it's new people who come in. Somebody
gives them a certain amount of time to build themselves up, and
then they're out. The block isn't all that great, but that just adds
to it. Other than that, we have the drugsthat's just all in our
neighborhood.
My situation was kind of strict. My mom and my dad kept me
in the house. I did not have any friends on my block. So my
situation was very severe. In some aspects I might be seen as
abnormal because I wasn't allowed to play outside. The only
playtime I had was in school, in the playground or whatever. So
they really did control who were my friends. My friends were
the people who were in that private school. I had white friends,
Asian friends, I had everybody. It just wasn't all black friends.
People would come off of neighboring streets like Culver Street
to ask me, "Can I play?" 'Cause my whole family lives in the same
area. So my cousins or their friends would come over"Can
Yvette come outside?" "No." I'd stay in the house. So I
was bred to be a nerd, I guess. Until the time when my aunt
started taking care of me, being my baby-sitter. Then I had a
little more freedom. But the rule was I couldn't go off the porch
there. I could go outside, but I couldn't go off the porch. I could
sit on the steps or something. At my own house I stayed in the
house. This is the aunt where her children threatened to beat
me up. So she watched me for a while, and they got jealous. So
then I had to leave.
But I wasn't completely sheltered. I was thrown out of this
sheltering environment when I went to high school. I went to
Grant High School for Engineering and Sciencea public magnet
school. And that was different for me. The school had about
six, seven hundred kids in it. Not really big compared to most
public schools. It was about 60 percent black. I was used to
maybe two hundred people in the whole schoolthat's what my
other school was. And I was seen as a nerd there, too. When
people would try to fight me, I did not know what to do, because
I was so sheltered I just never had that situation, so I talked my
way out of it most of the time. Just talking like, "This is not
worth fighting over. This is something stupid." Just talk your
way out of it. Kids would leave me alone because they would see
I really had no interest in fighting over something that I thought
was stupid. If they had hit me, I would've hit back of course
'cause you're taught to hit back, but I just never had that situation.
My mother told me, somebody tries to get in your way, fight
back, get them out of your way. You have a goal, you've got to
get there. She tells me that to this day, 'cause I'm like, "Oh my
God, college is so hard. I can't deal with the stress." She's like,
"You have a goal. Get to it." The good thing about it, with my
parents I had an open line of communication. And I don't think
a lot of people have that. And we talked about everythingmy
mom, my dad, and me. As a family, we talked about it. And that
really helped me. It really did. Instead of just keeping it to myself
or fighting just to get over, I talked it over with my parents and
they helped me to have some direction as to what to do in that
situation. Like, people don't like me, they think I'm a nerd, they
think I'm trying to be snotty. I don't know, I just talked to them
about it.
I had a small group of friends. Not everybody was a nerd. Not
everybody was getting A's. But I did find a crowd. I think everyone
finds the niche. Freshman year is always the worst because
you don't know where you belong, if you belong. And my character
is I'm never going to try to change myself to be what somebody
else wants, so I didn't have a niche. I kind of made a niche
for myself. And my small group of friends were just like me.
That's it. I mean, everyone knew of me in the class, but I only
had about seven or eight friends who I can really call friends.
Most of them were from West Philly, and they had the same
struggles as I did, so we had some common ground right there.
And they were supportive to me as well because we talk about
our situations and stuff. And if ever I got in a situation at school
and they were there, they'd help me out.
I had problems, but I talked all of it out. I'm a real communication
person. That's just something that was instilled in me.
Your parents are there as support. The only way they can help
you is if they know what's going on. If you keep it to yourself,
then they can't help you. And that's another way I think that I'm
blessed, because if I didn't have parents, that would be just one
less support that I would have.
Yvette's account underscores the difficulties that the decent family
encounters when trying to live among so many people who are committed
to the street, not only neighbors but relatives as well. Increasingly,
teenage girls, most often those associated with the street,
become involved in group and individual fights. In many ways their
fights are not unlike those of the boys. Their goal is often the sameto
gain respect, to be recognized as capable of setting or maintaining
a certain standard. They frequently try to achieve this end in ways
that have been widely associated with young men, including posturing,
abusive language, and the ready use of violence to settle disputes,
but the issues for the girls are usually different. Although conflicts
over turf and status exist among the girls, the majority of the disputes
seem rooted in assessments of beauty (which girl in a group is "the
cutest"), competition over boyfriends, and attempts to regulate other
people's knowledge and opinions of a girl's behavior or that of someone
close to her, including friends, siblings, and parents. Jealousy, as
was shown in the case of Yvette, is often an issue, because it is
extremely difficult for some young people existing in a sea of deprivation
to "suffer" the advancement of someone assumed to be their
social equal. Among many impoverished young people, any indication
of an improvement in the person's status can be taken as a threat
and cause for alarm, thus provoking a struggle at least to "stay even."
In this context a major cause of conflicts among girls is "he say,
she say," particularly those involving issues of personal attribution,
or name-calling. This practice begins in the early school years and
continues through high school. It occurs when people, especially
girls, talk publicly about others, thus putting their "business in the
streets." Usually, one girl will say something derogatory about
another in the group, most often in public, "behind her back." The
remark will get back to the girl; she may retaliate, or her friends may
feel required to "take up for" her. In essence, this is a form of group
gossiping in which individuals are negatively assessed and evaluated.
As with much gossip, the things said may or may not be true, but the
point is that such imputations can cast aspersions on a person's good
name. The accused is required to defend herself against the slander,
a process that can result in arguments and fights, often over little of
real substance. Here again one sees the issue of low self-esteem,
which encourages youngsters to be highly sensitive to slights and to
be vulnerable to feeling easily "dissed."
Because the street element so dominates the public spaces, even
the decent people must show they are ready to meet the street ethic
in order to survive unmolested. As a result, most decent parents
encourage their children to hit back if challenged, particularly if the
child is backed into a corner. It is difficult not to fight back, because
status and esteem are often at issue. This makes the emphasis in
Marge's family on talking one's way out of confrontations ("stuff")
or walking away rather exceptional, but many young people try such
a tack and engage in fighting only as a last resort. As one thirteen-year-old
girl in a detention center for youths who have committed
violent acts told me, "To get people to leave you alone, you gotta
fight. Talking don't always get you out of stuff." In the case of Yvette,
though her mother encouraged her to defend herself, sensibly, she
was reluctant to fight.
Since their efforts to achieve upward mobility tend to be viewed
as "disrespecting" their own community, decent people, particularly
children, must often struggle to advance themselves. In fact, as
Yvette's account shows, street-oriented people can be said at times
to mount a policing effort to keep their decent counterparts from
"selling out" or "acting white," that is, from leaving the community
for one of higher socioeconomic status. This retaliation, which can
sometimes be violent, against the upwardly mobile points to the deep
alienation present in parts of the inner-city community. Many residents
therefore work to maintain the status quo, and so the individual
who tries to excel usually has a great deal to overcome.
The lengths to which Yvette's parents went to prevent her exposure
to the street clearly show this dynamic at work. The account
represents a general feeling among decent inner-city residents that
the street is both dangerous and seductiveone misstep can cause a
fatal falland so children, particularly those at an impressionable
age, need to sheltered from it. However, as the story of Tyree in the
next chapter will suggest, contact and involvement with the street is
almost unavoidable, especially for young men.
From
Code of the Street: Decency, Violence, and the Moral Life of the Inner City, by Elijah Anderson. ©
1999 Elijah Anderson.
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